Archive for the ‘vibrators’ Category

How personal is your vibrator?

April 7, 2007

Have you guys ever seen those ads in the back of magazines for ‘personal’ vibrators? I just bought an ‘impersonal’ vibrator. It’s good for six and half minutes of intimacy then it won’t return your phone calls.I’m gonna give it to some woman I’m fond of. Save the hassle of an affair and a breakup — the world’s laziest man


Wah… my pussy’s ugly

December 13, 2006

On TV last night I just saw the newest rage in plastic surgery: labiaplasty. Yes, it’s just what you think it is. My pussy’s ugly… So? Turn out the lights.

At best, it’s not the most attractive portion of the female anatomy, but guys rarely complain… and who’s this for, really? Do women inBeverly Hills stand around at parties and compare?

I read the testimonials. One said “I look so much better down there…” What is she a contortionist?

“I have renewed self-confidence in public…” where do you live?Who’s gonna notice this? “Hi grandpa, I just had elective surgery. Wanna see?”Are women gonna scurry down to Kinkos, drop their drawers and hop up on the copier so they can have a picture for their Christmas cards? Doubtful.

A woman can also get a new hymen… ladies, I’ll let you in on a little secret: guys aren’t that interested in the hymen, they prefer the packaging.

The prices range from 3500 dollars to 12,500 dollars. Okay, if you can get 12,500 dollars worth of this surgery, maybe there’s a problem.

But I only saw labia reduction… I’m waiting for labia enhancement then I’ll send the wife in for a consultation.