Archive for the ‘jokes’ Category

America wants your Oil

June 11, 2011
Oil 4 America

Sometimes the best plans are the most simple


Pisces Soccer Fan…

December 29, 2009

Goal Fish…

Vincent Van Moe nee Van Mogh

October 30, 2009

ANY-thing more…

June 9, 2009

Is there anything more annoying than a rhetorical question?

Food and religion…

November 7, 2008

Praise Cheeses!


Cheeses is my co-pilot



Always keep ’em guessing, mack…

iGive Up

September 25, 2008

Today Macintosh Computers announced several new products in the development stage.

iBet-will allow gamblers to contact local bookies without using a normal phone line.

iQuit-users can tender their resignation without face-to-face confrontations.

iVay-a portable Talmud reader.

iDunno-this product is undergoing further definition.

more junk

May 23, 2008

She had a V6 brain stuck in a V8 body…


My neighborhood was tough… The cockroaches were either Crips or Bloods


If time is money, my sex life is small change

Watch this movie or I’ll kill this car!

April 12, 2008

blah, blah, blah...

Ever wondered what happens to those leased beauties after the lease runs out?

Find out the shocking truth in “The Fleet Kings!”

Discover the disquieting revelations of car dealer fleet salesmen — they’ll make you laugh, they’ll make you cry, they’ll make you take a test drive… If you dare!

It’s about cars, guns, chicks, and more money wasted on one celluloid stink bomb than you’ll earn in your entire life… Unless… you’re one of “The Fleet Kings.”

See them sell cars below Kelly Blue Book. See used cars treated as chattel. See men slide their sweaty palms over the sleek lines of previously owed automobiles.

See Keanu Reeves flex. See his new watch. See his nice haircut.

See overpaid actors grimace while Reeves acts wooden–again–but looks great doing it! See scantily clad women grimace while Reeves acts wooden–again. See some guy with only one name grimace while Reeves acts wooden–again. See a guy who has “the” as a part of his name… but is not a wrestler or Cedric.

Filmed in patented “ink-o-vision” by famed artist Ralph Steadman.

Before you ever buy another car, See “The Fleet Kings.”

This film is rated IQ… No one with a triple digit IQ permitted without an accountant.

New bumper sticker OR tee-shirt

April 8, 2008

Registered sex addict…

In case of accident

suck my dick

In case…

April 7, 2008

In Case of Emergency Notify: me, I don’t want to be left behind if there’s a fire or something…