Archive for the ‘explosions’ Category

In the tradition of…

January 29, 2010

the Scarlet Pimpernal, comes America’s newest superhero: the Mauve Flamer! Mild mannered florist by day… until a call for help–get away from me you cretone bully! Into a nearby closet and out emerges the Mauve Flamer protector of those who can’t fend for themselves… for fear of ruining their manicure. Hurling mauve balls o’ fire, the Flamer rushes to the aid of those who needs AID… not AIDS but aid… and… um…

Got Bin Laden?

February 2, 2007

The state department today announced its newest program in the hunt for fugitive terrorist, Osama Bin Laden.

President George W. Bush stated at a press conference earlier today a project he has personally overseen from its inception, the “Got Bin Laden?” project.

Said the President: “This whole thing started because the CIA gave us bad intel, ya see? So now we’re gonna put out good intel, heh heh. We are… um… gonna put Bin Laden’s face on tee shirts… and… uh… handbills and milk cartons and… uh, bumper stickers. It worked for that guy on television… with his kid. So I think with a uh… by putting up these handbills all over the Afghan-Pakastani border and the bumper stickers on military vehicles and the milk carton thing… we’ll have Bin Laden… soon. Thank you.”

 

This comes on the heels of the State Department’s wildly successful “Got Saddam?” campaign which resulted in the capture of the former dictator. Representitives of the State Department handed press kits containing the items mentioned by the President.