New Barbies

New Barbies for the coming year

Irish Catholic Barbie: a cute red-haired lass, but by the time you get her home and open the box she’s pregnant and weighs 250 pounds. Accessories: a sack of potates, a case of Paddy’s Irish Whiskey, and 4 brothers who come to visit but never leave.

Palestinian Barbie: like most other Barbies but you can’t take her anyplace crowded or she blows up. Accessories: a humus recipe, a lamb, and a suspicious package.

G.O.P. Barbie: a subservient none-to-bright soccer mom who can see Russia from her front porch. Accessories: 2.3 children, a full set of non-stick cookware, a Lexus SUV, a 2 carat diamond ring, and a BA from Bob Roberts College.

Bangkok Barbie: actually a boy dressed as a woman. Accessories: a .32 derringer, 6 feet of silk rope, 2 wigs, and a makeup kit.

Cougar Barbie: has no accessories until she marries Over-worked Ken, she divorces him and get all his accessories. Additional accessories: silicon breast implants, a Corvette, and a Cabana Boy Ken.


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