Archive for December, 2006

Wah… my pussy’s ugly

December 13, 2006

On TV last night I just saw the newest rage in plastic surgery: labiaplasty. Yes, it’s just what you think it is. My pussy’s ugly… So? Turn out the lights.

At best, it’s not the most attractive portion of the female anatomy, but guys rarely complain… and who’s this for, really? Do women inBeverly Hills stand around at parties and compare?

I read the testimonials. One said “I look so much better down there…” What is she a contortionist?

“I have renewed self-confidence in public…” where do you live?Who’s gonna notice this? “Hi grandpa, I just had elective surgery. Wanna see?”Are women gonna scurry down to Kinkos, drop their drawers and hop up on the copier so they can have a picture for their Christmas cards? Doubtful.

A woman can also get a new hymen… ladies, I’ll let you in on a little secret: guys aren’t that interested in the hymen, they prefer the packaging.

The prices range from 3500 dollars to 12,500 dollars. Okay, if you can get 12,500 dollars worth of this surgery, maybe there’s a problem.

But I only saw labia reduction… I’m waiting for labia enhancement then I’ll send the wife in for a consultation.

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Hyman tattoo

December 2, 2006

When exactly did that one dwarf start calling himself Doc?  Was it before or after Snow White showed up? “Now just relax, Ms. White… Med school? Of course, the Gynologica Polytechnico de Tijuana.” Chapter one — Her breasts were enormous and each seemed to point in different directions… they were like the gangs in West Side Story: you couldn’t get them together without a fight.  Ask me about John Holmes Facial Cream .Sexy? You shave yours first… 

A tattoo on a Mormon girl’s hyman: Exciting to handle when your hands roam, but if you break it you take it home.

Crackling Wire Estates Mobile Home Park

December 2, 2006

Visit Crackling Wire Estates Mobile Home Park a subsidiary of Rio Los Banos Country Club featuring our 3 championship golf courses: Gater’s Lair, Copperhead Marsh and Stinking Dunes. And for the minature golfer try Mosquito Bend. Not a duffer? You can go horse back riding at the Thrush Hook Riding Academy, have a day of crappie fishing on Sulfer Springs Lake or explore the geologic wonder of Los Banos Tar Pits. Hungry, try our world class cuisine at the Brass Spitoon or for the casual and family dining stop in the Slaughterhouse and be sure to sample our world’s famous Pig Sty Pie. Adults can enjoy a cocktail at the Black Eye Lounge. Crackling Wire Estates is conveniently located a mere seven miles from the Shifting Sands Power Plant; providing residents with clean, safe, dependable nuclear power, and it’s a short drive to Stunted Pines Naval Gunnery Range.We’re easy to find. Exit the highway after you pass the high voltage towers, take a left on Strom Thurman Boulevard and go right on Cleft Palate Road. Make a reservation for a free guided tour within the next 24 days and you’ll receive five free tickets to Branson, Missouri’s newest celebrity-themed fun park, Frawley-wood. That’s right Frawley-wood. The world’s first tribute theme park to William Frawley that lovable Fred Mertz of I love Lucy and that lovable Uncle Charlie from My Three Sons. Crackling Wires Estates Mobile Home Park; we’re the direction the deep south is headed.