Mr Know-it-all fans

July 21, 2013

please come visit me at Yahoo Voices, under Creative Writing Humor–mark mccann. I got some new stuff. Thanks

FBI has a sense of humor…

November 8, 2012

While perusing the “fun” links on the internet I discovered that the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s official site has a link called “Fun and Games.” Nestled in amongst a Hurricane Sandy Fraud Hotline, the Most Wanted, and Scam and Safety are links for “Kids and Teens, Avatars, Spies and Counterespionage (a side-splitting subject), and Tools of the Trade (guns mostly).” So, if you don’t find terrorism, violent crime, interstate flight et cetera entertaining enough be sure to check out
http://www.fbi.gov/fun-games
and change your “threat level” to “laugh out loud.” Can we get a link for “fisting?”

New Barbies

September 9, 2011

New Barbies for the coming year

Irish Catholic Barbie: a cute red-haired lass, but by the time you get her home and open the box she’s pregnant and weighs 250 pounds. Accessories: a sack of potates, a case of Paddy’s Irish Whiskey, and 4 brothers who come to visit but never leave.

Palestinian Barbie: like most other Barbies but you can’t take her anyplace crowded or she blows up. Accessories: a humus recipe, a lamb, and a suspicious package.

G.O.P. Barbie: a subservient none-to-bright soccer mom who can see Russia from her front porch. Accessories: 2.3 children, a full set of non-stick cookware, a Lexus SUV, a 2 carat diamond ring, and a BA from Bob Roberts College.

Bangkok Barbie: actually a boy dressed as a woman. Accessories: a .32 derringer, 6 feet of silk rope, 2 wigs, and a makeup kit.

Cougar Barbie: has no accessories until she marries Over-worked Ken, she divorces him and get all his accessories. Additional accessories: silicon breast implants, a Corvette, and a Cabana Boy Ken.

America wants your Oil

June 11, 2011
Oil 4 America

Sometimes the best plans are the most simple

Graduation time

June 5, 2011

It’s time for graduation. The school I went to was rough, when you graduated you got two graduation pictures, front view and profile. It was rough I tell you. When it was time to call your name the principal said, “Would the accused step forward.” The guidance counselors didn’t ask what you wanted to do they asked, “How do you wanna plead?” They had the graduationg class step forward eight at a time… and then turn to the right. They didn’t have an Honor’s Program… they had an early release. I graduated with a 4 point 0 but my lawyer me off with 3 point 5. The diploma wasn’t made out of sheepskin… they said it was canary. The graduation speaker started off with “Graduates and ladies and gentlemen of the jury…” It was tough. The cap and robes were bullet proof. The school mascot was a Lo-jack. If you didn’t graduate the Marine Corps had to take you back.
(I made these up with the great Rodney Dangerfield in mind… we love and miss you)

Top Ten Films Not Usually Seen On Top Ten Lists: Westerns

April 26, 2011

Every blogger who’s watched eleven movies in one lifetime has put togther a Top Ten films list. I’ve read half of those. Within each catagory are features well-known and well-worn. Embittered clashes have arisen over each list, and its inclusions and/or exclusions, to rival the Caputlets and Montagues, Hatfields and McCoys, Sunnis and Shia, and even the Yankees and the Red Sox. But this is list is different. I’ve dedicated this series to those films that rarely, if ever, show up on the select litanies so often found in the blog-o-spere. With that may I humbly introduce for your perusal: The Top Ten Films That Don’t Usually Make Top Ten Lists. These are gems often overlooked, neglected, and ignored… due to no other fault than not being as good as the Top Ten.
To keep this list current is troubling so I will only include films between 1950 and 2000 (fifty great years of film). I have opted not include the “classics” era due to the heavy hands of Selznick, Mayer, and many others who ran the “star system” of that time (the star system produced many great films but the doors were closed to new actors and directors).
Westerns: Quigly Down Under, Bite The Bullet, Big Hand For the Little Lady, The Man From Snowy River, Two Mules For Sister Sara, The Misfits, Bad Company, Jeremiah Johnson, Goin’ South, Electric Horseman.

Amended recommended films

April 26, 2011

Worth a look…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frozen_River

Top Ten Films Not Usually Found on Top Ten Lists: Sci-fi

April 22, 2011

Every blogger who’s watched eleven movies in one lifetime has put togther a Top Ten films list. I’ve read half of those. Within each catagory are features well-known and well-worn. Embittered clashes have arisen over each list, and its inclusions and/or exclusions, to rival the Caputlets and Montagues, Hatfields and McCoys, Sunnis and Shia, and even the Yankees and the Red Sox. But this is list is different. I’ve dedicated this series to those films that rarely, if ever, show up on the select litanies so often found in the blog-o-spere. With that may I humbly introduce for your perusal: The Top Ten Films That Don’t Usually Make Top Ten Lists. These are gems often overlooked, neglected, and ignored… due to no other fault than not being as good as the Top Ten.
To keep this list current is troubling so I will only include films between 1950 and 2000 (fifty great years of film). I have opted not include the “classics” era due to the heavy hands of Selznick, Mayer, and many others who ran the “star system” of that time (the star system produced many great films but the doors were closed to new actors and directors).
SciFi: Alphaville, Twelve Monkeys, Fantastic Voyage (1966), Fahrenheit 451, Gattaca, Tron, Rollerball, District 9, Slaughterhouse-Five, Brazil.

Foreign movie that was worth a look

April 17, 2011

I just watched “Children Of Heaven”
It was “Chariots of Fire” meets “The Kite Runner”
I suggest it…

Top Ten Documentaries Not Usually Seen In Top Ten Lists

April 14, 2011

Every blogger who’s watched eleven movies in one lifetime has put togther a Top Ten films list. I’ve read half of those. Within each catagory are features well-known and well-worn. Embittered clashes have arisen over each list and its inclusions and/or exclusions to rival the Caputlets and Montagues, Hatfields and McCoys, Sunnis and Shia, and even the Yankees and the Red Sox. But this list is different. I’ve dedicated this series to those films that rarely, if ever, show up on the select litanies so often found in the blog-o-spere. With that may I humbly introduce for your perusal: The Top Ten Films That Don’t Usually Make Top Ten Lists. These are gems often overlooked, neglected, and ignored… due to no other fault than not being as good as the Top Ten…
Documentaries:
Thirty Two Short Films About Glenn Gould, Thin Blue Line, My Best Friend, Harlan County USA, Titticut Follies, A Great Day In Harlem, Crumb, Nanook Of The North, In The Year Of The Pig, Shoah.


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